Attempting to be the Perfect Husband

One of the things I pride myself in is being the best husband possible. This means doing things to help make Robyn’s job easier and try to make sure she has everything she could ever want and need. Most of the time I feel I do a very good job of this.

Occasionally however this is not possible. And that is just human nature. But it does not mean it makes me feel any less disappointed when it’s not possible. 

The area I most often fall short in my eyes is when she is going through tough times emotionally. As we all know, females moods can change at a moments notice. And she tells me all the time how she does not think I have feelings and emotions, so it makes it all the more difficult for me to assist with those times.

Recently she has been going through a tough time while on the liquid diet portion from her recent weight loss surgery. The surgery is known to occasionally cause emotional roller coasters in some patients, and eating fewer calories can also do the same. So combine those with the fact that she is ready to be done with the liquid diet and she can naturally have a negative outlook at times.

When this occurs, no matter how hard I try, it never seems I have the right words to resolve the issue. I know she does not always expect me to have all the right answers and resolve everything, but I expect myself to. So when it does not happen I feel bad. 

Luckily those times don’t happen often most of the time, but maybe it’s just one of those areas of life where I should just accept the fact I’m never going to be perfect!

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6 Responses to Attempting to be the Perfect Husband

  1. There is no such thing as a perfect person. We all have our faults. That’s what makes us human. As long as Robyn knows that you love her and are there for her, I’m sure that’s all she needs. Whoa, that almost sounded philosophical. I better redeem myself. BOOBIES! There I feel better.

  2. Robyn says:

    I think you are perfect. You have been the best support system through this that anyone could have. You never fail me.

  3. Kara says:

    Seriously, get/check out and READ Shaunti Feldhan’s books For Women Only and For Men Only (start with the book TO you then swap with the book ABOUT you). Emerson Eggrich’s Love and Respect is very good. My good marriage was made better after these and a few others.

    The two images that have made the biggest impact are the basic mind function of both genders (I’m going to try different analogy since the standard one is food and I don’t want a hit called on me. ;)) men think like a set of drawers while women are a big box. They can “compartmentalize” several work issues, meetings, household “stuff”, and sex (which is a drawer without a bottom as it’s never full enough it seems ;)). Men come home, shut the work drawer and open the next one. So (for example), no matter how bad work gets, it doesn’t have as great an impact on the other drawers. This is what can lead to some workaholic tendencies as incredible amounts of focus and drive come with it.

    Women, on the other hand, have a box…and not just any box, but a huge one and they drag it around all day. So work issues, household issues, relationship issues all get mixed up in that single box. Now, because they’re in a single box, the bratty neighbor kid who stomped your hard earned flowerbeds at 8 am is still right there at 8 pm. The trade off is women multitask much easier and more rapidly than men because everything is right there in the same place.

    The last thing (and it sounds too familiar to me :))….the basic communication pathway between men and women (which I’ll probably get teased about with such a long post). Men are fixers. Tell them the problem and they might ask a few questions but they’re on the road to “fix it”. Women are talk-throughers. They want to use their full word quota and get a sympathetic ear and the worst move a man makes is to stop them and say how it can be changed. You’ll get a “you never listen to me”. Women need to start their conversations (at least early on) saying, I just need you to listen or men need to stop them in the first sentence or two and ask if you just want a listener or help resolving the issue.
    On the other

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